Getting trapped in the drama of our lives blinds us from reality and seeing the simplicity in the moment. As I am writing this up on the rooftop deck of my friend's apartment complex, I'm amazed at the wonder of your day (pictures included). To my right is Lake Michigan and the sandy shore line that hugs it. In front of me, could be the view of John Hancock and the Magnificent Mile. A carpet of green trees and bright rooftops lay below. An orange sunny sky looms above. A bright bikini clad young woman lies to my right, sunning on a dark wrought iron chaise three chairs over. I possibly could see how easy it is always to be so trapped in the events of my life that even the serenity and wonderment of such views could be overshadowed by drama's stories, grieves and hurts.Dramacool
The difficult and painful events that have occurred in our past and our fears about the near future blurs our vision and keeps us stuck in a quagmire of deceit. So trapped are we in the drama of our lives that we sometimes neglect to notice how blue could be the sky or green would be the trees approximately white could be the bikini. Our anatomical bodies might physically be in the "here and now" but our minds definitely are not.
Drama binds us to the past and holds our future captive. We tend to think our responses to recent events are derived from present feelings when in fact they represent unfinished, unresolved and uncompleted emotions. We often don't observe that drama keeps us in the problem of the past here in our present. Kept limited to our dramas, we never heal and we never grow. What we can study from new experiences never present themselves because we dilute the lesson with drama.
A dilemma is just a deep and very personal story of what the "event" meant to us. It is definitely an engineered story of the "what is" by providing the "what is" a personal meaning. A good example: imagine you're driving down the expressway at a safe speed. Someone in a sports vehicle races behind you, quickly swerves to your lane and manages to cut you off before driving away. The fact of "what is" is that somebody is speeding and quickly swerves into your lane. The private story or drama which you created at the time could be "What a jackass! She must think I'm driving too slow and that I am not a adequate driver. At this moment we take the function personally. Another reality: your spouse walks away from the marriage. Your drama is: "I am unworthy of love" or "I can't trust anybody anymore, I will just get hurt again if I remarry."
How we can "grow" away from drama is to identify the difference between what is reality and what is drama. Reality is just an event separate from any emotions (I got fired from my job / I acquired divorced). Drama is our personal story, the reason why, we make up of how the function affects us and what it means to our lives (My boss is just a real jackass / I am unlovable). We always want to generate meaning in everything that occurs in our lives. Healing and growing starts by understanding the difference between what is reality and what is fiction and then just accepting the function as it is (I no further have a job) with no drama.
I understand easier said then done. Often times it's in the story and the personal meaning behind it which makes life interesting but once the story repeats itself time and time again in an endless cycle, the function never dies. It consistently repeats itself in similar situations even with years of the first occurrence; old feelings of hurt are resurrected. (I text her but she didn't text back. She must not like me and anyone who doesn't text me right me right away later on must also mean they don't love me as well. Love blows!). Drama doesn't allow us to cultivate into mature experienced adults rather we remain emotionally stagnant at the age it's occurrence.
The dramas in our lives are manufactured by made-up untrue beliefs while denial shrouds the true issues. We get to awaken from the drama once we accept the fact that we have the greatest capacity to change our lives. If we are able to create negative thoughts and emotions then we're also able to produce a positive spin for a passing fancy event. Change the thought and emotions into something positive that may empower us and inspire others and subsequently we get to restore control in our lives. By accepting the function as what it's will free us from the emotional bond as it demonstrates that only our jobs or relationships are ending and not our lives. This can be done by writing out a list of what is happening without attaching the emotions connected with it. In case of losing a job your list might include:
1. I have already been fired
2. I no further have a job
3. I will have to find a fresh job
4. I don't have any income
5. I've little savings
After reading over your notes and removing all the drama or unworthiness, fear, blame and guilt can disappear. The reality have presented itself in a way as you are able to address each issue to generate solutions that you can now handle and benefit from. Acceptance will permit you to detach from the drama so that you will have the ability to see your life separate from the emotions as fear and any negativity is washed away. You feel some other observer in the events letting you effectively, clearly and without the judgments control of one's reactions and your life.
In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, acceptance is one of the big creeds that enable its members to better handle their lives. In it, it states: "Acceptance is the solution to any or all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is basically because I find some person, place or thing, or situation -some fact of my life- unacceptable if you ask me, and I will get no serenity until I accept see your face, place, thing or situation as being the way it's said to be as of this moment."
